More Church Bulletin Bloopers
I discovered that my post on Church Bulletin Bloopers is one of the most popular posts on this site. I guess that we all need a good laugh once in a while.
The following list of bloopers is was sent to me by email in 1996. I must have liked it, because I added to to my humor archive. The email claimed that these are actual messages taken from church bulletins:
Don’t let worry kill you- let the church help.
Thursday night- Potluck Supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs.Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
- The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.
- The Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
- Evening massage – 6 pm.
- The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.
- The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.
- Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 pm. Please use the back door.
- ANNOINTING OF THE SICK . . . If you are going to be hospitalized for an operation, contact the pastor. Special prayer also for those who are seriously sick by request.
- Usher will eat latecomers.
- The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.
- The sermon this morning: WOMEN IN THE CHURCH
The closing song: RISE UP, O MEN OF GOD
- The sermon this morning: GOSSIP . . . THE SPEAKING OF EVIL
The closing song: I LOVE TO TELL THE STORY
- The sermon this morning: CONTEMPORARY ISSUES #3 . . . EUTHANASIA
The closing song: TAKE MY LIFE
- The sermon this morning: PREDESTINATION . . . WHAT ABOUT HELL?
The closing song: I’LL GO WHERE YOU WANT ME TO GO